The Difference A Year Makes

I have written on this topic before, but since we’re about at the anniversary of it all, it’s been on my mind. Last year at this time in early December marked the beginning of probably the most difficult month of my life, which then led to one of, if not the most, difficult years of my life.  You can read more about it here, here, here, and here

Without explaining it all over again, during this especially hectic season, it’s somehow calming to be able to reflect back and see how far we’ve come in a relatively short time.

Last year, I was going through the heartache of losing a baby.  This year, I’m anticipating the arrival of a new one.  Last year, our Christmas cards were coming interspersed with Sympathy cards for two fathers.  This year, just good tidings, and well wishes for a happy holiday and new year.  Last year, I was making funeral arrangements.  This year, we are making arrangements for who will watch the kids when “the time” comes.  Last year, we barely got our tree up, let alone decorated.  This year…. well, ok, maybe not everything has changed that drastically from a year ago…

Anyway, my point is not revisit my sad tale again, my point is that during this season of all seasons,  there is always reference to hope, peace, and love.  Last year, it was hard to find any of those things in my little world, but this year, looking back, I feel nothing but those things….. especially the hope.  No matter how bad it may seem at any given time, even when multiple tragedies are happening concurrently, there is always, always, an end to it, and a fresh, new perspective to be had. 

With the risk of sounding somewhat condescending, I just would like to offer up to anyone that is experiencing difficult times right now, to keep your faith in hope.  It will pass.  By this time next year, your perspective could be much different, and it could all make a lot more sense.  Don’t get me wrong, I still miss my dad, my father-in-law, and I wonder what that baby would be doing, who would’ve now been 5 months old.  But much of the sadness has been replaced by hope, peace, and especially love.  While I’m not out of the woods yet, I like to think these events have made me a better person. 

I wish you all peace, hope, and especially love.


11 Responses

  1. *hugs* and Happy Holidays! Thank you for such kind words.

  2. nothing Better than love…except an MLT…where the mutton is nice and lean…

  3. Thanks for sharing these things that shape who you and Mr. P&B are.

  4. Thank you for sharing your story.!

  5. You write about Hope being a powerful thing,Lauren, and I love it! You write about what a difference a year can make, and I can relate. How much better my life is now than last year at this time! In my case, the dark times help me appreciate these good times all the more.

  6. On our Christmas card this year I wrote “May you count your blessings all year long.”

  7. wow…i really liked your message of hope :)…delurking just to tell you……have a great holiday

  8. I’m so glad you have found hope in this season.

  9. Thank-you for writing this post. I won’t go into detail but I really needed to read these words at this time. You were not condescending, you gave me hope and help. A blessed New Year to you and your beautiful family.

  10. lauren,

    thanks for putting this out there… i am going thru a little but of a tough time, but you are right about the hope. i have a photo of a bumper sticker i took a few months ago and it sums it up perfectly: Hope Is Everything.

    i had no idea that you and bill lost the baby last year just before both your dad’s died ~ i cant imagine the intensity of the year… thank goodness for Max’s and Wyatt’s that make sure you cant get too far down, eh? thinking of you and your beautiful family this year…

    much love,

  11. Lauren,
    I really enjoyed this memoir. I am so happy for you and your fam! And I’m so glad things are better this year. I can’t wait to meet your new little one ! Your the best!

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