What it Feels Like- an Illustrated Account

Ok, fellas, this one’s for you.  For any of you that have, will have, or have had a preggo woman in your life, I’ve compiled a little picture show to help you understand what it feels like to be with child.

I loved being pregnant the first time around.  It was so magical and full of promise/anticipation.   The second time was noticeably more difficult, presumably because I was a little older, and had a very active toddler to chase down, but I still felt that little bit-o-magic.  The third time?   Suffice it to say that for the past several months, I’ve pretty much felt like a walking, fluid-filled marshmallow with one mean waddle.

 

This pretty much sums up my general, everyday bodily sentiment:

 

 

What my butt feels like:

Notice a theme here?

 

 

 

My thighs:

 

 

My arms (aka, what it’s like to wear pantyhose):

 

 

Da Boobies (x 10):

 

 

Did you know that a woman’s facial features can grow wider while pregnant? 

 

 

And let’s not forget about those ankles.  No pedicure in the world can overcome this:

 

Seriously, guys.  They say a picture is worth a thousand words, but these don’t really even do proper justice… I would love to pick the brain of the alien freak liar pregnant woman who says she feels sexy…. and don’t get me started about what we have to go through to get on a pair of underwear, shoes, or *gasp* shave our legs….

Ok, now that I’m done whining, go hug a pregnant woman.  Wait…. you might just lose a certain part of your anatomy that you’ve grown quite attached to… or she might wrestle you to the ground for that ham sandwich.  Maybe it would be best just give an understanding nod & hold the door…

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24 Responses

  1. You poor thing. If it makes you feel better, “da boobies (x10)” are what mine are like and I’ve never had children.

  2. I remember it well! Max is 19 months now, but dang! I think I STILL have swollen ankles! Hang in there!

  3. Maybe William needs to step up and shave your legs and tie your shoes.

  4. That is how I felt during my second pregnancy. Of course I also had the Tasmanian Devil swimming and swirling and kicking inside my huge belly.

  5. Ha! My third pregnancy felt much the same as you describe here.

    But it DID end, finally… thankfully. Which is really the only consolation I can offer you. Maybe you’ll go into labor a little early and shave off a few of those last days? Here’s hoping!

  6. I am at my 12 week mark of my second pregnancy. After this post, I am seriously wondering if I am crazy to go through this all again.
    Thanks for that!
    Congrats!

  7. I would so play with the balloons and nibble your ankles and climb and shimmy up your thighs and I know I would devour your arms. With some gravy of course.

  8. And maybe before they hold the door for you, they could help you with your shoes and socks.

  9. Hilarious! I am laughing so hard I just may pee my pants! I haven’t really felt like that with either, except the last fews days before I deliver. It’s then that I break down and give up shaving my legs! It really is THAT hard! LOL!

    I am glad everything is going so well though. You are almost there and you will FORGET all of this once you are holding that baby blue in your arms.

    Bill seems to be enjoying you being prego! I think his comment is hilarious as well. Gravy!? LOL!!!

  10. And this is why I will NOT be having a third child!!!

  11. Yes, being pregnant is such a special time for a woman!

    Nicely illustrated!

  12. And what about what it does to your mind?? I was so stupid when I was pregnant with my third. I don’t know what it was but I just could not think. And sadly that condition lasted after she was born… Pregnancy kills brain cells. Spread the word.

  13. That was great! AMEN, AMEN, AMEN!

  14. You are too funny!

    As you know, this too will change soon and that baby can come home and admire all of the nesting projects William is working on. And can I borrow him after Momo has him nest at her house!?!

    I’m single and for the most part of the year I don’t shave my legs! Or wear panty hose! But, then again, this may explain my single status. Food for self-evaluation or maybe I am part hippy! (or French or so it is rumored about the French. Vive la differance! And hairy pant covered legs!)
    And I need to stop being so amused by the 2 of you, I typed this post entirely in the slot for the website address. Sure sign that I need to shut off the Crackberry and find out where sleep is hiding.

  15. Well done! Having done this 4x, I know you couldn’t have described it any better.

    ~KC (who feels like that first picture today, even tho’ her “baby” is in 3rd grade)

  16. It seems that the potamus has lost her giggle.

  17. Oh MY!! LOL…sorry, but you nailed it on the head. And for the record….I hardly shave my legs even now. Too much hassle!

  18. I’m pregnant with my 2nd (6 months) and totally reaching that point. I told my midwife yesterday that I felt huge, which she laughed off — until I measured 3 weeks too big! As if I don’t feel….well, you described it perfectly…enough!

    So I have a lot to look forward to when we have the next one, huh?

  19. Amen Lauren, couldn’t have said it, or pictured it any better! As far as the boobie balloons…in our house, that was romantically referred to as the “titty fairy” arriving! ….ahh the romance of pregnancy!

  20. Ah yes, the joys of the pregnant body. BTDT, not going back anytime soon. As the mom of four (although I cheated and had twins, so only 3 pregnancies) I can honestly say I didn’t feel sexy for even one second of any of the pregnancies. And it took progressively longer to feel sexy afterwards. Love the boobie picture – having just lost mine as my baby has stopped nursing!

  21. Great pictures and descriptions. I have been there a few times myself.

  22. Love the descriptions. I found your blog after you posted on my giveaway. I love your blog name by the way.

  23. So true….does the tree trunk feeling go away–I’m still waiting–Nadine is 5 months old!

  24. Oh so true.

    When I was pregnant, if I sat still for too long, people would start pouring water on me in desperate attempts to keep me wet until they could scoot me out into the ocean and I could find my pod…

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