Patchwork Life

I awoke this morning at 3 a.m. to a yelp and that unmistakable smell.   Yep, it’s skunk season again ’round these parts.   Apparently, somebody forgot to let the dog inside last night & she got sprayed again, and yes, the entire house now reeks.  It’s not as bad as the last time, when merely just sitting in the kitchen would bring tears to your eyes, but it has permeated our entire livable space- there’s just no escaping.

Anyway, it reminded me of the time this happened last year, and I realized we’ve recently had an anniversary of sorts.  We’ve officially been in our house now for a year, and I am, again, both shocked and amazed at not only how quickly time can fly by, but how much can change in a year. 

The two years we spent in Florida were great, I wouldn’t trade them for anything.  I really believe it’s important to live away from where you grew up for at least a small portion of your life.  I have to admit, however, that practically the whole time we lived there, I was missing home.  Max was only one when we moved, and I felt like he was missing out on getting to know his family, not to mention his family getting to know him.  I am not a particularly outgoing person, so making new friends was something that I always felt the pressure to do, but it also constantly stressed me out.

I often found myself dreaming of the day we could move back home, be with friends and family again, enjoy less pressure of continually being on our own, take a “real” family vacation, instead of using the time for visits home (no offense!).  I fantasized about our daily life– the play dates with old friends, the interaction of Max & Wyatt with their cousins, the free babysitting, spending time with my parents.  It was all so wonderful in my head.

Then, the day finally came when it was official– we got the offer to move back home.  I was ecstatic.  I didn’t care how, why, or when, just that it was going to happen.  Looking back, we got really lucky with the timing of everything.  I don’t think it would’ve happened in this economy.  And selling our house?  Fuggitaboutit.

In retrospect, it’s interesting to see how the reality is different from my fanciful utopia.  Less than two weeks after we moved in with Bill’s parents, my dad got sick.  It definitely put a different spin on how I envisioned our first summer back home would be.  By then end of the calendar year, we not only lost him, but also another pregnancy, and Bill’s dad as well.  Not at all what I had envisioned.  I came to realize that certain relationships did not exist anymore.  My utopia was shattered.  The culmination of two years of wishing, wanting, and waiting, ended up being quite possibly the worst year of my life. 

Ten months later, I feel like I am still picking up pieces.  Slowly, I am stitching them back together into the ever-changing patchwork that is my new life.  Some of them are missing.  Some of them are just changed.  But I’m adding new ones every day.  They are a part of me and who I am, and they all coordinate, whether I can see that now or not.

Everybody knows that things don’t always turn out how you plan them– it’s one of the things we try to teach our children.  It helps to stay flexible, go with the flow, adapt.  One thing I have learned over the few years I’ve been on this planet is the human race is incredibly adaptable.  I’m not comparing my life to one of those survival stories you see on Dateline or anything- you know, the one where the mountain climber gets pinned under a boulder for 15 days and has to bite off his own arm and lives to tell about it?  Things change.  At least I still have both my arms.  

I didn’t intend this post to be a downer, more thought provoking than anything.  I’m curious what new experiences our next year in this house will bring.  There will be a new little person here soon to share in all the adventure. By this time next year, he’ll be just about 10 months old.  It’s ironic.  His due date is January 3rd.  I won’t go in to detail, but let’s just say the “significant” dates for us last year were Dec. 5th, 17th, 30th, and January 2nd.  We did not plan the timing, but I can’t help but wonder if this baby was sent as a beacon to illuminate what could otherwise be a very dark time in our recent memories.  Now, instead of dwelling on what’s missing, we will be celebrating.  I am thankful for that. 

Ok, I’m done with the sad stories for a while….


Stupid skunk.




11 Responses

  1. This is blogging in the middle of the night at it’s finest! I am so sorry for your losses but equally as excited for the new baby. God always turns things around in our lives so that we see the blessings.

    Oh yeah, I hope the smell dissipates soon.

  2. This is not a downer, but it is thought-provoking, just as you hoped. I’m older than probably most of your readers, but can tell that you will do fine in life. Your priorities are in order, you remember and honor those who came before you, you treasure what you have, love those in your trust and face the future with your head up.

    Patchwork isn’t the same without the dark colors. They add a richness and depth to otherwise bland designs. They work as a frame to set off the light colors and make them shine. We wouldn’t choose the dark days, and thankfully we don’t know how many there will be, but we can trust the One who brings us life to create something beautiful out of all our days.

    I wish you many blessings.Thanks for sharing your “life-quilt” with us.

  3. wow… I just got chills. Thanks for that 🙂

  4. Things didn’t turn out the way you’d hoped, but just imagine if you’d still been in Florida when you were dealing with your dads’ illnesses and deaths. I can’t help thinking things have worked out the way they were “supposed to.”

  5. Babies make everything better, and definitely help you get through hard times.

  6. Wow, you have some cool readers who say some cool stuff! Your husband even commented on my blog recently which blew me away since he is so famous:) LOL I feel honoured.

    I agree. Thank the Good Lord you guys were back where you belong when your dads were so sick and then you lost them. My word. That is such a blessing. God certainly has a plan and knows what He is doing in EVERY “little” thing in life, eh??

    I love the quilt analogy you used and then the person you don’t know (or DO you?? LOL) expanded on that beautifully!

    Have a great week, take it easy and I hope that Luna didn’t mind her tomato juice bath. If it was bad enough this time to warrant that…

    Oh. Also. Go on a date with Bill soon. Treat yourselves to “Eagle Eye.” The hubster and I enjoyed it.

  7. I got teary reading your post. If I knew you in person I would give you a hug :).

    Thanks for sharing–and I’m sorry about the loss of your baby last year (in addition to dads and a father in law).

  8. I am thankful that you and Bill have opened a part of your lives up to us, unworthy readers.

    I “virtually” enjoy both of you very much…this post was not a downer, but a good reminder.

    Thank you.

  9. Skunkstink inspires pretty soulful posts.

  10. […] then led to one of, if not the most, difficult years of my life.  You can read more about it here, here, here, and […]

  11. Your post was not a downer and was very a illuminating and gentle reminder to stay flexible and have hope becauseit is almost guaranteed that life is going to roll you around, toss in a few bumps, and leave you “hanging in there by the skin of your teeth”. One must be flexible ’cause we don’t wanna’ “go snap, crackle, and pop!” You said it all much better. My prayers are with you and your lovely family. I enjoy your blog(s) and think you are both wonderful parents. Both of you are creative and that is lucky for all of your readers.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: