I want to know if anyone has ever defined the law of nature that states everything must take longer than expected. I know mine can’t be the only life to which this relates. It is so consistent, that I am beginning to wonder if there is some kind of paradox between the brain’s perception of time and actual reality. Maybe it’s more a law of, if I put a time constraint on something, it most certainly will take (x) amount longer….
For instance, it should take 20 minutes to get the diaper bag packed, kids dressed, including shoes and coats, if applicable, and my own shoes on (I almost never wear shoes at home). In order to get an accurate assessment of true time, you must first multiply by my family’s coefficient, which I have roughly determined happens to be around 3 ( I should note that the law of “somebody always poops” is often in effect at this point as well). So, here’s the formula:
(reasonable assessment of time to accomplish said task) x (coefficient of) 3 = actual time
Simple math, really. Basically, it will always take us at least an hour to get out the door.
Where does all that extra time go, you might ask? Answer: I don’t know, but my guess is there’s some kind of time-sucking vortex to another dimension where everyone is twiddling their thumbs with hours of free time (and a lot of mismatched socks). This vortex is particularly strong near families with small children.
I’m no scientist, but I think I may be on to something here….